Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman – Medium

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman
in
Slackjaw

Ending My Toxic Relationship With A 7-Year-Old Trick-or-Treater

Every time I hear the doorbell ring, I’m triggered.

Oct 30

Ending My Toxic Relationship With A 7-Year-Old Trick-or-Treater

Oct 30

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman
in
Slackjaw

Welcome To Golden Rings: A Retirement Home For Former Olympians With No Purpose

We’ve had athletes as young as 15 and as old as 35 join our community!

Aug 18

Welcome To Golden Rings: A Retirement Home For Former Olympians With No Purpose

Aug 18

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman
in
Slackjaw

Please Visit Our Small Indiana Town For Your College Spring Break

Dance the night away to John Mellencamp’s best hits at our only bar in town.

Mar 27

Please Visit Our Small Indiana Town For Your College Spring Break

Mar 27

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman
in
Slackjaw

Son, Don’t Use One Of My 217 Shoeboxes From My Sneaker Collection For Your Valentine’s Box

I can not “lend” you a “spare” shoebox so that you can put glitter glue on it to receive a 25 cent card from a girl who will stab you in…

Feb 8

Son, Don’t Use One Of My 217 Shoeboxes From My Sneaker Collection For Your Valentine’s Box

Feb 8

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman
in
Slackjaw

I Was In One Successful Film Franchise 15 Years Ago, So It’s Time I Launched An Overpriced Alcohol…

I was extremely involved in every step of the process, or at least the last step where they took my picture while holding the bottle for…

Sep 24, 2023

I Was In One Successful Film Franchise 15 Years Ago, So It’s Time I Launched An Overpriced Alcohol…

Sep 24, 2023

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman
in
Slackjaw

I Have A Type And It’s Overly Available AI Men Who Are Know-It-Alls

I know the “you marry an AI that reminds me you of your father” saying, but I never knew it could happen to me.

May 30, 2023

I Have A Type And It’s Overly Available AI Men Who Are Know-It-Alls

May 30, 2023

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman
in
Slackjaw

If The Celebrity McDonald’s Meals Were At Places Celebrities Actually Eat At

The Jennifer Aniston Meal At Les Jardins du Mont-Mellie in Paris: it only costs 15,000 Euros!

Apr 13, 2023

If The Celebrity McDonald’s Meals Were At Places Celebrities Actually Eat At

Apr 13, 2023

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman
in
Slackjaw

If Santa Were An Influencer

So excited to announce I’m doing a GIVEAWAYYYY!

Dec 24, 2022

If Santa Were An Influencer

Dec 24, 2022

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman
in
Slackjaw

Spirit Halloween Asks Greenview Plaza If It Can Crash At Their Abandoned Storefront For A Bit

I promise you won’t even notice I’m here, it will be like I’m a ghost.

Oct 13, 2022

Spirit Halloween Asks Greenview Plaza If It Can Crash At Their Abandoned Storefront For A Bit

Oct 13, 2022

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman
in
Slackjaw

Subscribe To Our Morning Newsletter To Read The Saddest Things Possible From The Past 24 Hours

The Morning Bummer delivers tragic news right to your inbox every morning at 5 a.m.!

Sep 21, 2022

Subscribe To Our Morning Newsletter To Read The Saddest Things Possible From The Past 24 Hours

Sep 21, 2022

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman

Emily Kapp and Daniel Stillman are both Chicago-based humor writers. You can contact them at kappstillmansatire@gmail.com.

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