Emily Kapp & Daniel StillmaninSlackjawWelcome To Golden Rings: A Retirement Home For Former Olympians With No PurposeWe’ve had athletes as young as 15 and as old as 35 join our community!Aug 182Aug 182
Emily Kapp & Daniel StillmaninSlackjawPlease Visit Our Small Indiana Town For Your College Spring BreakDance the night away to John Mellencamp’s best hits at our only bar in town.Mar 272Mar 272
Emily Kapp & Daniel StillmaninSlackjawSon, Don’t Use One Of My 217 Shoeboxes From My Sneaker Collection For Your Valentine’s BoxI can not “lend” you a “spare” shoebox so that you can put glitter glue on it to receive a 25 cent card from a girl who will stab you in…Feb 83Feb 83
Emily Kapp & Daniel StillmaninSlackjawI Was In One Successful Film Franchise 15 Years Ago, So It’s Time I Launched An Overpriced Alcohol…I was extremely involved in every step of the process, or at least the last step where they took my picture while holding the bottle for…Sep 24, 20233Sep 24, 20233
Emily Kapp & Daniel StillmaninSlackjawI Have A Type And It’s Overly Available AI Men Who Are Know-It-AllsI know the “you marry an AI that reminds me you of your father” saying, but I never knew it could happen to me.May 30, 2023May 30, 2023
Emily Kapp & Daniel StillmaninSlackjawIf The Celebrity McDonald’s Meals Were At Places Celebrities Actually Eat AtThe Jennifer Aniston Meal At Les Jardins du Mont-Mellie in Paris: it only costs 15,000 Euros!Apr 13, 2023Apr 13, 2023
Emily Kapp & Daniel StillmaninSlackjawIf Santa Were An InfluencerSo excited to announce I’m doing a GIVEAWAYYYY!Dec 24, 20221Dec 24, 20221
Emily Kapp & Daniel StillmaninSlackjawSpirit Halloween Asks Greenview Plaza If It Can Crash At Their Abandoned Storefront For A BitI promise you won’t even notice I’m here, it will be like I’m a ghost.Oct 13, 20221Oct 13, 20221
Emily Kapp & Daniel StillmaninSlackjawSubscribe To Our Morning Newsletter To Read The Saddest Things Possible From The Past 24 HoursThe Morning Bummer delivers tragic news right to your inbox every morning at 5 a.m.!Sep 21, 20229Sep 21, 20229
Emily Kapp & Daniel StillmaninSlackjawI’m Van Gogh’s Ear And I Just Feel A Little Cut Off By the GuyHear me out, please?Aug 22, 20222Aug 22, 20222