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Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman

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Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman

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Oct 19, 2025

Hey, Man, Do You Want To Come Get Scared By 14-Year-Olds In A Corn Maze?

It’s only a two-hour drive away primarily on unpaved country roads with no street lights.

Hey, Man, Do You Want To Come Get Scared By 14-Year-Olds In A Corn Maze?

In

Slackjaw

by

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman

·

Apr 8, 2025

I’m The Regular Oat In Lucky Charms And I’m Gonna Help You Change Your Life

While the marshmallow pieces were at the end of the rainbow, I was at the end of my rope.

I’m The Regular Oat In Lucky Charms And I’m Gonna Help You Change Your Life

In

Slackjaw

by

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman

·

Apr 2, 2025

My Name Is Jesus And I’m A Burnt-Out Gifted Kid

Can anyone relate?

My Name Is Jesus And I’m A Burnt-Out Gifted Kid

In

Slackjaw

by

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman

·

Feb 14, 2025

The “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not” Flower Gets Real With You

I’m just going to tell it to you straight. He does not love you. He doesn’t even like you.

The “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not” Flower Gets Real With You

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman

·

Dec 10, 2024

Celebrating 5 Years of Kapp Stillman Satire

We’re so back.

Celebrating 5 Years of Kapp Stillman Satire

In

Slackjaw

by

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman

·

Oct 30, 2024

Ending My Toxic Relationship With A 7-Year-Old Trick-or-Treater

Every time I hear the doorbell ring, I’m triggered.

Ending My Toxic Relationship With A 7-Year-Old Trick-or-Treater

In

Slackjaw

by

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman

·

Aug 18, 2024

Welcome To Golden Rings: A Retirement Home For Former Olympians With No Purpose

We’ve had athletes as young as 15 and as old as 35 join our community!

Welcome To Golden Rings: A Retirement Home For Former Olympians With No Purpose

In

Slackjaw

by

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman

·

Mar 27, 2024

Please Visit Our Small Indiana Town For Your College Spring Break

Dance the night away to John Mellencamp’s best hits at our only bar in town.

Please Visit Our Small Indiana Town For Your College Spring Break

In

Slackjaw

by

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman

·

Feb 8, 2024

Son, Don’t Use One Of My 217 Shoeboxes From My Sneaker Collection For Your Valentine’s Box

I can not “lend” you a “spare” shoebox so that you can put glitter glue on it to receive a 25 cent card from a girl who will stab you in…

Son, Don’t Use One Of My 217 Shoeboxes From My Sneaker Collection For Your Valentine’s Box

In

Slackjaw

by

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman

·

Sep 24, 2023

I Was In One Successful Film Franchise 15 Years Ago, So It’s Time I Launched An Overpriced Alcohol…

I was extremely involved in every step of the process, or at least the last step where they took my picture while holding the bottle for…

I Was In One Successful Film Franchise 15 Years Ago, So It’s Time I Launched An Overpriced Alcohol…

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman

Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman

Emily Kapp and Daniel Stillman are both Chicago-based humor writers. You can contact them at kappstillmansatire@gmail.com.

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